Somebody once told me the world will end in global warming

[Photo: The editor of this image has requested to remain anonymous.]

Somebody once told me the world will end in global warming. That person was Smash Mouth.

We all have heard Smash Mouth’s “All Star” and have felt so amazing, but how many of us really listened to the lyrics?

When the album Astrolounge was released in 1999, it went platinum three times. I was nine, and I studied the CD jewel case booklet. I read those lyrics and took them to heart.

I had no idea that, almost 20 years later, we would still be talking about the looming threat of human extinction as a result of global warming and Smash Mouth.

The remainder of this essay is intended to be read while listening to the original track, “All Star.”

Hey now, are you listening? Okay good.

Notice the bouncy, surfy, rock-and-roll rhythm. It oozes California. It oozes American Dream. There’s no forgetting the impact this song made on youth at the turn of the millennium. According to Twitter, some people today still play this track while they go down on their girlfriends. The band’s lead singer, an ultimate Cool Dude, publicly voices his approval. This baby didn’t go platinum three times for no reason.

The song’s lyrics promote a capitalist lifestyle where you play by your own rules and don’t think too hard. Life is short, take risks. “Live for fun.” Indulge the senses and the ego and “get paid.”

Smash Mouth says the person who warns you against this lifestyle is “dumb.” They are “looking kind of dumb,” and the people who follow their advice have “heads” that “get dumb.”

Smash Mouth packs the chorus with positive affirmations–“you’re an all star,” “you’re a rock star”–to stroke the ego and brainwash the listener into believing “all that glitters is gold.” Life is more fun when we consume, consume, consume and don’t worry about the consequences.

Listen to the second verse again with fresh ears. Ears full of the uncomfortable knowledge of what our Earth is enduring today because of the growing holes in our ozone layer:

But the meteor men beg to differ

Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin

The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim

My world’s on fire. How about yours?

That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored.

San Jose band Smash Mouth is in fact a vessel for Illuminati reptilian overlords. [Photo: Anonymous.]

We need to ask ourselves who will benefit from global warming. The answer to that of course is the Illuminati, a cold-blooded reptilian species hell-bent on controlling our Earth. It may be 18 years too late, but we still ought to recognize that Smash Mouth is working for the reptilian overlords.

The icing on the Illuminati-operated-Earth-takeover cake is where the speaker reinforces the casual monopoly of fossil fuels in the transportation industry, when they agree to give a stranger “some change for gas.”

Arctic sea ice is melting at record rates, but buy that new Hummer H2 ‘cause it’s fancy. We are experiencing the next mass species extinction right now, but TYS to Hot Takis instead of garden strawberries.

Is it a coincidence that these lyrics encourage consumerism, complacency and the celebration of climate change, which will soon destroy our Earth? Is it a coincidence that this is exactly what the Illuminati and the undercover reptilian alien race want for our Earth?

The ogre Shrek, closely associated with Smash Mouth’s hit “All Star,” is himself a reptilian humanoid. [Photo: Open source image.]

Smash Mouth wants us to think they are a happy-go-lucky San Jose band of bros who just want to surf and eat pussy. But I have come to believe they are a vessel to help execute the reptilian planetary climate plot.

Still don’t believe me? See for yourself this Saturday, July 22, when they perform at the California State Fair at Cal Expo.

Free general seating for the concert is included with your state fair general admission ticket, but serious lyrical analycists can pay $15 extra for reserved seating.

Smash Mouth performs at the California State Fair in Sacramento on Saturday, July 22:

  • Performance set to coincide with hottest recorded summer in human history.
  • Lyrical analysis of hit song “All Star” shows connection to global warming, Illuminati/reptilian plot to normalize and accelerate climate change.

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Anonymous Analycist