Announcing 2017’s Best of Snarkramento winners

The results are in, and we all lost.

Please congratulate your 2017 Best of Snarkramento winners. Champions can pick up their Snarkies behind the dumpsters in Jazz Alley.

The results posted herein are statistically representative of the entire population of the City of Sacramento. Please use this information in all marketing materials for enticing corporations and Bay Area people to move to Sacramento.

For real though, thank you for taking this dumb survey. Hope you had a laugh.

Sacramento politician hungriest for that tech money:
Total votes: 441


  • Barry Broome, he isn’t an elected politician but he acts like one
  • People who are actually hungry and could benefit from a stimulated Sacramento economy
  • West Sacramento Mayor Chris Cabaldon
  • Richard Nixon

Best public art aimed at making wealthy people feel like they live in a gritty urban center:
Total votes: 217


  • Painting dumpsters
  • Art Hotel
  • Don’t Shake Your Baby campaign

Sacramento journalist you wish didn’t quit/get laid off:
Total votes: 318


  • Dave and Lois
  • Dan Walters
  • Bob Shallit
  • Is Nick still a Sacramento journalist?
  • All of the above

Worst Marcos Breton take of 2017:
Total votes: 181


  • Fire this asshole

Brewery you are least sad to see close:
Total votes: 285


  • Brew it Up!
  • OMG, Sacramento is about to drop below the minimum 10 breweries per square mile in order to remain on the Top 100 Hipster Destinations list…WHAT TO DO?!
  • It’s sad that so many people lost their income

How many more pizza/craft beer restaurants can open on the grid before we become the most obese city in California?
Total votes: 159


  • I love pizza. Fuck you.
  • It’s too late… and up next Handle District moving walkways! Yessss!

Will Mayor Darrell Steinberg continue to be a corporate shill, or will he become a real progressive leader?
Total votes: 270

Safest space for gentrifiers:
Total votes: 147


  • Pushkins
  • Oak Park Triangle

Which Wide Open Walls mural will be the most popular for aspiring Instagram models to pose near?
Total votes: 221

First Place

Second Place

Third Place

Fourth Place


  • Koi Fish on the Marrs building
  • Maren Conrad’s wall
  • Conrad’s Koi at the Marrs building

Bro-iest Sacramento bar:
Total votes: 213


  • Bar West
  • Golden Bear
  • Highwater
  • Is there honestly any difference between those four?
  • All so baaaaaaddddddd
  • Sac Brew Bike
  • Republic

Percent your rent has risen in the last 12 months:
Total votes: 168

  • Zero. I own.
  • I live in my mom’s basement, it’s free!
  • Should I even be filling this out if i own a house in Tahoe Park?
  • Homeowner who overpaid at height of bubble…
  • None percent

Next Sacramento music venue that will close:
Total votes: 198


  • Please close Golden 1. It would fuck the city over but it would be worth it.
  • Harlow’s? Unlikey. Press Club? Music? AofS, unlikely. Cafe Colonial closes and reopens regularly. My answer: Starlight. What? It closed in June? Sh*t!
  • Is Townhouse still open?

Golden 1 Center show you are most embarrassed you bought (or thought about buying) tickets to:
Total votes: 150


  • Monster truck jam
  • Hall & Oates. Only because Tears for Fears was also on the bill.
  • Kanye
  • Neil Diamond (free tickets, but still)
  • Tim McGraw/Faith Hill
  • Kendrick
  • *Haven’t recovered from the article about the surveillance enough to even consider…and/or Paul McCartney.
  • Katy Perry
  • Kings game.
  • None
  • I saw Neil Diamond there
  • Cirque De Soleil
  • Never!
  • I wouldn’t see any of that bullshit if you paid ME
  • Haven’t been to the Center yet.

Games into the Kings season when you will start losing interest:
Total votes: 197


  • Already bored
  • 1
  • Already have lost interest.
  • Go Warriors!
  • Are they a hockey team?
  • Already
  • 1
  • 1
  • All of them because the Kings suck
  • 5
  • 1
  • -1
  • Preseason
  • Lost Interest Years Ago
  • 1
  • 1st game

Sacramento “monument” that should be removed:
Total votes: 154


  • Piglet.
  • The capitol building
  • The gummy bear
  • Piglet

Biggest Sac fuck-up that would never happen in the Bay Area:
Total votes: 195


  • Electing steinberg
  • None of them, they’re just as fucked as we are
  • Bulldoze downtown in favor of an environment more conducive to scared suburbanites who love malls
  • You have too many “all of the above” questions…


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Sac Snark
Formerly a pain-in-the-ass on Twitter, Mr. Snark brings his act to VOICES: to continue pissing people off in the city we all love.